you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
