So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
