I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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