me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
