Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
