I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
