When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
