In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
