Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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