Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
