Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
