in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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