the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
