i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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