Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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