M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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