So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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