he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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