Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
