Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
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On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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