Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i think i have two assholes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
