tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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