Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
where does the pee come out of this thing
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
