Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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