They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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