How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
