Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
