i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
