the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
