Moan for me like Helen Keller
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
as a side note pls kill me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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