I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
