Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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