Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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