Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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