im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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