my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
