Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
