Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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