problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't think brook has ever known best
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
