I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He better not be in your backpack
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
