I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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