you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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