I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
