Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
