whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
