Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im holly from the hills drunk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
