That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize