i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
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I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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