i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
