You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
