Operation Purity has been aborted
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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