Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
