just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
