Sponge bath it is.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
