So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
