They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
