I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
