No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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