I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
